nature

An earthquake and hurricane in NYC in the same week. I wonder what the city did to piss off Mother Nature. We survived the quake with minimal disruption but Hurricane Irene appears to be bringing more inconvenience and destruction.

We live in lower Manhattan in Zone A which has been given a mandatory evacuation order. Although we are nervous we have decided to stay home and wait out the storm. Our neighbors are also hunkering down so we'll be able to stick together if things get particularly bad.

We have plenty of food, water, candles, batteries, flashlights and are ready to deal with a power outage. We have taped up our windows and are filling up our tub for flushing the toilet. We checked in with our family and friends and are watching the latest developments on the news. Our Go Bag is packed and ready.

This morning I took my doggie for one last walk to Battery Park - the area that they think will surely flood as soon as we begin to feel the beginning of the storm. It was empty, the only people I saw were news casters and tourists who obviously still didn't understand what was coming. I experienced a strange sense of peace while walking along the water - perhaps this is what they refer to as the calm before the storm?

NYC is experiencing an unprecedented preparedness for Irene. Subways, buses, and trains are about to be shut down citywide. Mayor Bloomberg ordered the first ever city evacuation for a hurricane. Evacuations for hospitals in the low lying areas were completed yesterday.

I am about to bake some chocolate chip cookies so we have some freshly baked goodies to provide some comfort during the storm.

I know we will survive this but I expect to feel the normal range of emotions that one experiences during natural disasters. Throughout the last day or so, I can't help remembering the Northridge Earthquake of 1994 in Southern California that I lived through when I was almost 10 years old.

To everyone on the eastern coastline, be safe and stay indoors and we'll all come out OK on the other side of this.

moderation

We have all heard of the phrase, "Everything in moderation" at some point in our lives. I think Socrates said it first, but maybe not, and many others have repeated this phrase since him.

This rule to live by applies to eating, drinking, working, playing, things we love to do and things we hate to do.

This concept is difficult for me to embrace. I am not a moderate person. I am am excessive person. If i enjoy listening to a song, I will listen to it over and over and over again until I can't listen to it anymore. If I love eating something (OK I confess, my weaknesses are cookies and pop-ems) I will eat it until I feel sick. If I had fun doing something, I will keep doing it until it is no fun anymore. Does this mean I have an addictive personality? Am I a slave to my sweet tooth? Why isn't some of something not enough for me?

There are some things for which avoidance is easier than moderation. When it comes to some things, I have will power and self-control and when it comes to other things, its like I am a child with no sense of restraint. When you get right down to it though, who wants to live moderately? Doesn't that sound boring?

My attempts at moderation are usually fueled by a drive to be purposeful. Enjoy every moment of life and if you are truly enjoying each second, you can feel satisfied with only a moderate amount of whatever it is. Whereas, if you are not fully engaged in your present activity, you will feel the need for more until you are satisfied.

I am constantly derailed from this purposeful execution of moderation by my busy life. It is hard to stay engaged in every moment when you are forced (or feel like you are being forced) to get things done and move onto the next thing. And, moderation contradicts one of my other principles of living: Carpe Diem - Seize the Day!

Will someone tell me how can one seize the day in moderation?

timing

We all know the phrase timing is everything. The reason we all know it, is because it is true.

Today I witnessed the results of ill timed actions, rather, no action until it was too late. We all experience this in one way or another, big and small. in our personal lives and at our jobs. I don't want to go into details but this is the reason that this topic is on my mind.

My impatience sometimes overrides my desire to pose questions at the right time (in the right tone) and the art of waiting for the right moment to ask for (and get) what you want.

I strive to be the right mix of sensitive, inquisitive, persuasive and kind when I converse and interact with people . I have to work on my timing. I often feel like I interrupt and am too quick to answer. I am working on being a better listener and more patient and wait for just the right moment.

independence

I have always been an independent spirit. Even as a young child, I welcomed the opportunity to show off my self sufficiency and to this day it is very important to me that I maintain my independence. One of my firsts posts on this blog was about freedom. It is one of my essentials in life and something that is very important to me.

The terms freedom and independence are often used interchangeably, even by me. Although they are similar concepts, I do think there is a key difference.

Freedom is an external force, a product of society, that creates opportunity for individuals to make their own choices without restraint. Independence is an internal force, a state of mind, that propels people to make decisions and take actions to become more self reliant.

Children move away to college to ease their dependence on their parents, people start their own businesses to ease their dependence on an employer, people strive for financial freedom (here I go again, I meant financial independence) to ease their dependence on responsibilities. All of these people are free, in some sense, yet throughout their lives their degree of independence shifts based on their circumstances and their state of mind.

One could argue that those who are free can be extremely dependent on others and those that are not free can still be independent. A young child is free however they rely on their parents for shelter, food and the basic necessities of life. A young adult may have established independence from their parents however they are the most susceptible to the oppression of societal expectations. Many of us have often felt trapped in the must graduate college, must find a job, must get married, must buy a house tradition that has become "the American dream" or more aptly "the rat race."

There seems to be a correlation between age, freedom and independence. The young are truly free but often dependent and as they mature, they become more independent but less free and perhaps as they reach old age, they revert back to being free but more dependent. Obviously there are exceptions to this but I think this holds true for many Americans.

What is more important - freedom or independence? I would say freedom because with freedom comes the opportunity to be independent while independence alone does not guarantee freedom.

What does complete freedom and total independence look like? I imagine it involves unlimited opportunity coupled with the intelligence and courage to make the right choices. I hope I find out one day.

I wish everyone a Happy Independence Day.

success

Everyone wants to be successful right? Well, maybe not everyone, but I do. But, I couldn't tell you why exactly but I think it is important. Maybe I only think I want to be successful? How do you tell the difference?

Sometimes I feel that other people can say things more eloquently than I so this post will affectionately be referred to as "a quote post" where I lean on the brilliance of others to enhance my own writing.

A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind.

Albert Szent-Gyorgyi (1893 - 1986)

This quote makes me feel good because I am always prepared so perhaps primed for discovery as well? Discovery of my purpose?

To follow, without halt, one aim: There's the secret of success.

Anna Pavlova (1885 - 1931)

I agree. I want one singular driving passion - but if I don't have it now, is it likely to dawn on me in the future? I am afraid if I don't have it yet, I may never discover it...

Of course there is no formula for success except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings.

Arthur Rubinstein (1886 - 1982)

Wow. OK, well if being successful means accepting life as it is, I could do that. I am trying to enjoy life each day. Maybe enjoying life is my life's purpose? Seems a little shallow...but perhaps the key to happiness?

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Bill Cosby (1937 - )

I often feel the need to please people and I also often act on it. I need to continue to live for myself first and then for others and recognize life isn't ab

The person who makes a success of living is the one who see his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. That is dedication.

Cecil B. DeMille (1881 - 1959)

I want to be a success at living. I need to work on living better.

There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.

Christopher Morley (1890 - 1957)

What is my own way?

busyness

A busy life can be a blessing and a curse.

On the plus side, navigating my way through a huge lists of tasks and experiences on a daily basis makes me feel productive and bolsters my belief that the more I get done, the happier I will be.

I feel a strong sense of accomplishment and satisfaction after drafting a long to-do list and crossing items off as I go. But is this, short-lived feeling of victory I experience when crumpling up my list and throwing it away knowing I completed everything I set out to finish, happiness? Honestly, I am not sure. Rather, I think the answer is sometimes yes and sometimes no.

On a personal level, being "too busy" prevents me from enjoying life experiences. I feel I must get through "this" so I can get through the "next thing" on my list. I am so preoccupied with everything I have to do, I am not fulling living in the moment. My body is engaged in something but my mind is already onto the next thing.

What is difficult for me is that if I don't accomplish a certain amount in a particular day, I do feel a real sense of failure. That the day was wasted and I'll never have that time back. It is not easy for me to really "live in the moment" and I am terrified of putting that on my to-do list because what if I can't cross it off?

Jay always tells me to enjoy life more - that I am more concerned with finishing than enjoying - and he is right. One of the things I truly admire about Jay is his ability to enjoy just about anything in life. (He can also hate everything in life at any give moment but when he is enjoying something, he is truly happy.) On a Monday morning, when he wants me to stop getting ready and enjoy a few sips of coffee with him on the couch, I will sit there and do it but I am thinking about what I have to start doing when I get to work and that train of thought quickly turns into me interrupting our sweet little morning moment. Jay accomplishes just about as much as I do in life, and probably sometimes more than me - why can't I become more like that?

I know I need to make a conscious effort to slow down, take my time, savor small moments but it is not easy for me to do this. Perhaps this is just like any other habit one needs to develop. Supposedly, it takes 21 days to form a new habit. I found this neat site, Habit Forge, which allows you to sign up for free, then explicitly describe the new habit you are trying to form and it will check in with you daily (via email) to make sure you are working on your habit each day for 21 days. If you miss a day, you have to start over at day 1. Others can track my progress so the fact that strangers may be holding me accountable will be a motivator for me.

I am going to make happy a habit. Let's hope it works.

obsession

I really want to do something that I really want to do. You know what I mean?

I want to look forward to Mondays, and work late because I don't want to break myself away from what I am doing or take a project home because I can't wait to wake up on Sunday morning and work on it. I feel that some people actually achieve this in their life, am I deluded?

The longer I try to pinpoint my obsession, the more I realize that it may not be a specific job, industry or hobby. Perhaps my passion lies in doing something to positively impact others, to use my skills to obtain a specific result or experience a variety of careers to sustain my interest? I do not like those answers, they are too vague! I wish I wanted to be a doctor, or an astronomer or a forensic psychologist and then I could go after that specific job but I don't feel strongly about any particular career so I feel like I am wading around in the pool of life not going in any particular direction. I want another goal to chase after.

Everyone needs a stable obsession. Something that they love to do for no other reason that to enjoy the experience. I want an obsession that is not a person (I love you, Jay), a dog (I miss my doggie) or something that I am required to do; such as, cooking (everyone needs to eat) & exercising (everyone should exercise). What do I have left? Reading and Blogging don't count.