success

Everyone wants to be successful right? Well, maybe not everyone, but I do. But, I couldn't tell you why exactly but I think it is important. Maybe I only think I want to be successful? How do you tell the difference?

Sometimes I feel that other people can say things more eloquently than I so this post will affectionately be referred to as "a quote post" where I lean on the brilliance of others to enhance my own writing.

A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind.

Albert Szent-Gyorgyi (1893 - 1986)

This quote makes me feel good because I am always prepared so perhaps primed for discovery as well? Discovery of my purpose?

To follow, without halt, one aim: There's the secret of success.

Anna Pavlova (1885 - 1931)

I agree. I want one singular driving passion - but if I don't have it now, is it likely to dawn on me in the future? I am afraid if I don't have it yet, I may never discover it...

Of course there is no formula for success except perhaps an unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings.

Arthur Rubinstein (1886 - 1982)

Wow. OK, well if being successful means accepting life as it is, I could do that. I am trying to enjoy life each day. Maybe enjoying life is my life's purpose? Seems a little shallow...but perhaps the key to happiness?

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Bill Cosby (1937 - )

I often feel the need to please people and I also often act on it. I need to continue to live for myself first and then for others and recognize life isn't ab

The person who makes a success of living is the one who see his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. That is dedication.

Cecil B. DeMille (1881 - 1959)

I want to be a success at living. I need to work on living better.

There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.

Christopher Morley (1890 - 1957)

What is my own way?

dog walker

I love my doggie. I love walking. I love walking my doggie. Maybe I should become a dog walker, or, owner of a dog walking business?

Dogs have a unique ability to brighten up people's lives. They are always happy, they are loyal and they always seem to bring perspective to things. If I am having a bad day, one look at my dog can wipe away any frustrations and remind me that life is too short to dwell on the displeasures of life.

This particular job would allow me to make my own schedule, enjoy the outdoors and will incorporate exercise into my work day - one of my "pros" of becoming a personal trainer. I would have the opportunity to learn more about different dog breeds and even hone my grooming and dog training skills. And, I currently live in NYC where dog walkers are in high demand.

Let it be known, I am currently lacking grooming skills and my dog training abilities leave something to be desired but I could work on those things. And, I should probably become more well versed on the different breeds and the differences in temperament. Also, I have never been very good about walking more than one dog at the same time - obviously a skill I will need to develop and refine. But, I think this is a pretty good possibility for me, don't you think?

busyness

A busy life can be a blessing and a curse.

On the plus side, navigating my way through a huge lists of tasks and experiences on a daily basis makes me feel productive and bolsters my belief that the more I get done, the happier I will be.

I feel a strong sense of accomplishment and satisfaction after drafting a long to-do list and crossing items off as I go. But is this, short-lived feeling of victory I experience when crumpling up my list and throwing it away knowing I completed everything I set out to finish, happiness? Honestly, I am not sure. Rather, I think the answer is sometimes yes and sometimes no.

On a personal level, being "too busy" prevents me from enjoying life experiences. I feel I must get through "this" so I can get through the "next thing" on my list. I am so preoccupied with everything I have to do, I am not fulling living in the moment. My body is engaged in something but my mind is already onto the next thing.

What is difficult for me is that if I don't accomplish a certain amount in a particular day, I do feel a real sense of failure. That the day was wasted and I'll never have that time back. It is not easy for me to really "live in the moment" and I am terrified of putting that on my to-do list because what if I can't cross it off?

Jay always tells me to enjoy life more - that I am more concerned with finishing than enjoying - and he is right. One of the things I truly admire about Jay is his ability to enjoy just about anything in life. (He can also hate everything in life at any give moment but when he is enjoying something, he is truly happy.) On a Monday morning, when he wants me to stop getting ready and enjoy a few sips of coffee with him on the couch, I will sit there and do it but I am thinking about what I have to start doing when I get to work and that train of thought quickly turns into me interrupting our sweet little morning moment. Jay accomplishes just about as much as I do in life, and probably sometimes more than me - why can't I become more like that?

I know I need to make a conscious effort to slow down, take my time, savor small moments but it is not easy for me to do this. Perhaps this is just like any other habit one needs to develop. Supposedly, it takes 21 days to form a new habit. I found this neat site, Habit Forge, which allows you to sign up for free, then explicitly describe the new habit you are trying to form and it will check in with you daily (via email) to make sure you are working on your habit each day for 21 days. If you miss a day, you have to start over at day 1. Others can track my progress so the fact that strangers may be holding me accountable will be a motivator for me.

I am going to make happy a habit. Let's hope it works.

communication

One might assume that speaking, conveying ideas, asking questions, engaging in heated debate, learning new information and all the other fascinating ways we communicate with one another would be easy and natural for most people. As a child, I always always believed this to be true.

The older I get (for those keeping count, I am currently 27) the more I realize that communication is one of the hardest things in life. Poor communication and misinterpretation can lead to disastrous consequences. Whenever I witness a failure to communicate clearly in conversation, I usually attempt to interject into the conversation to clarify. As I am writing this I feel like this may be perceived as rude instead of helpful.

As a dog owner, I can say that the power of non verbal communication is far greater than the power of the spoken word. We all understand energy and non verbal cues, facial expressions, body language and more. That's why it's never that bad when you go to another country, you can always act something out to convey meaning without speaking their language. Training and being around your dog forces you to be in touch with your non verbal cues since that is how dogs listen to you. Obviously this applies to people, too.

I am a good communicator but there is always room for improvement. I know I need to work on my tone sometimes and also being able to concisely convey my feelings in a constructive way.

My godfather, Patrick, told me a while ago that he thinks I should get a job that has something to do with "communication". I think he was onto something.

p.q.l.

After working at The Restart Room, I moved from San Diego back to Los Angeles. I would live in LA for about 2 months to save as much money as I could for my then upcoming relocation to NYC.

Immediately after I moved back in with my parents, I decided to look for my next job the old fashioned way, through the Los Angeles Times classifieds. I found an ad for a job as a purchasing assistant for a lighting company called PQL, Premuim Quality Lighting. It paid a great hourly wage (if I recall correctly, it was $11.00/hour) and seemed like a great way for me to get some office experience on my resume. I thought I had a decent chance of getting the job; my main concern was that I would only be there for 2 months - would someone want to hire me and invest the time in training me knowing that I would only be there for a short time?

I donned my best interview clothes and drove to the office for my interview. The interview was going great and as it neared to its natural conclusion, I spoke up and told them of my plans for moving to NYC and that I was only looking for a job for 2 months. I wasn't sure what reaction I expected but I was surprised when he thanked me for my honesty and said despite the fact that I would leave in 2 months, he enjoyed our discussion and said he would be in touch.

Soon after, they called with an offer for the job which I readily accepted. P.Q.L. was a great company to work for, everyone was super friendly and hard working and my boss, Sandy was a great manager who was willing to give me a chance.

I remember him calling me into his office on my last day there, August 14th, 2003, where he pointed to the news on the TV in his office showing a blacked-out NYC. I remember him so clearly, saying "So, you moving to NYC tomorrow?" and pointing to the TV. I remember thinking that nothing was going to stop me, I was going to NYC, even if all the lights were out.

I will always remember this job even though I was only there 8 weeks. Mostly because it was a company made of up good, honest people willing to give someone like me a chance. I hope that one day I can return this favor to an ambitious young person who just needs someone to give them a break.

balance

One of the most important things in life is balance. It is also one of the hardest things to attain in today's fast-paced society.

To me, balance means having enough time in the morning (3 hours) for exercise, walking my dog for at least 45 minutes and being able to get ready without rushing around. I would love to be able to get up at 7 AM and be ready to leave by 10 AM to begin my workday soon after. It means working on different types of tasks each day to give me the variety I crave to sustain my interest. I want enough time to take a break in the middle of the day to reset and make sure I get the most of my afternoon. I want to get home with enough time to straighten up, cook a healthy and delicious dinner and enjoy some quality time with my Jay and my doggie. I want to spend time after dinner engaging in a hobby of some sort (currently I blog, read or watch a movie but I am working on expanding my hobby repertoire) and then go to bed at a reasonable hour so I can do it all over again the next day. There is definitely a part of me that feels safe and comforted by routine. I need just the right amount of variety to keep my interest but I also like having a loose schedule to follow on a regular basis.

There is no formula that people can follow to feel that seemingly impossible harmony of work-life-balance - it is different for each person because everyone has different priorities and interests. The trick to is make sure that each day you feel a sense of accomplishment and experience the joys of living. Seems easy but it isn't.

In my attempt to research how I can achieve work-life balance, I found this interesting Web site, www.worklifebalance.com. Their working definition of work-life-balance is: Meaningful daily Achievement and Enjoyment in each of my four life quadrants: Work, Family, Friends and Self.

This concept is relatively simple in theory but not so easy to practice. I know I can quickly get caught up n the stresses in life and that it can completely derail my day if I am not consciously aware of what is happening.

After reading through a few articles on this site, I have come away with the idea that I should set 4 small goals each day for each quadrant in life and do my best to maintain focus on enjoyably accomplishing those goals. And, when I get caught up and feel that my day has gotten away from me, I need to remember to remind myself of all my blessings in life.

Balance comes from within and not from outside sources. I need to make it a priority and live purposefully. There is never a reason to delay enjoyment and happiness more likely lies in many small joyous moments rather than a few momentous occasions. Let's see how long I can keep this up.

wedding planner

Disclaimer: I am currently planning my own wedding, which could be influencing my thoughts about being a wedding planner. Although I am in the midst of a wedding planning hiatus and do need to kick it back into gear soon.

I am a planner by nature. I love planning parties and projects. I love writing up To-Do lists for my day and checking things off as I complete them. I think I would be a good wedding planner. My own wedding planning has gone relatively well so far if that is any indication of my skills.

Working weekends, holidays and nights might get old. That said, I would have a more flexible schedule, which is appealing. I would witness the grandest expression of love over and over again. On the other hand, I would also be a slave to bride after bride and it would only be a matter of time before a bridezilla crossed my path. But, I would be helping so many people realize their dreams of a beautiful wedding and I would meet people from all walks of life.

I stumbled upon this Should You Be a Wedding Planner? Quiz.

My Result was: It looks like you would be satisfied with a career as a wedding planner.

That's all this quiz gave me. It's super short but not sure its worth your time.

Anyway, I could start my own wedding planner business and that would satisfy my other urge of being my own boss and starting my own business. I can usually remain pretty calm in stressful situations and jump into action when necessary. I have solid negotiation skills and the ability to the make the "impossible" possible. I'm organized, detailed-oriented, budget-conscious and feel that I am a good listener and have a way of understanding and relating to people.

On the flip side, I don't have a great sense of fashion. And, I don't really know much about flowers, dress designers or wedding cake but I could learn. I can also see myself getting sick of brides after a while, is that bad?

If I am destined to enjoy many careers/jobs in my life, perhaps this will be one along my journey.

obsession

I really want to do something that I really want to do. You know what I mean?

I want to look forward to Mondays, and work late because I don't want to break myself away from what I am doing or take a project home because I can't wait to wake up on Sunday morning and work on it. I feel that some people actually achieve this in their life, am I deluded?

The longer I try to pinpoint my obsession, the more I realize that it may not be a specific job, industry or hobby. Perhaps my passion lies in doing something to positively impact others, to use my skills to obtain a specific result or experience a variety of careers to sustain my interest? I do not like those answers, they are too vague! I wish I wanted to be a doctor, or an astronomer or a forensic psychologist and then I could go after that specific job but I don't feel strongly about any particular career so I feel like I am wading around in the pool of life not going in any particular direction. I want another goal to chase after.

Everyone needs a stable obsession. Something that they love to do for no other reason that to enjoy the experience. I want an obsession that is not a person (I love you, Jay), a dog (I miss my doggie) or something that I am required to do; such as, cooking (everyone needs to eat) & exercising (everyone should exercise). What do I have left? Reading and Blogging don't count.

the restart room

After working at CUTCO, selling the world's finest set of cutlery, I found a telemarketing job at a place called The Restart Room. The office was really close to my apartment and San Diego State University, the college I was attending at that time. Although I was not thrilled at the prospect of telemarketing, I had a really flexible schedule and had the opportunity to pull in a decent hourly wage if I could hit my bonus.

The job itself was pretty brainless. I called past newspaper subscribers from all over the country and tried to get them to renew their subscriptions. We wore head sets and read scripts off computer monitors. If we could renew 3 subscriptions per hour, we would bonus. The sales manager kept track of everyone's sales on a big white board in the center of the office with our initials and hash marks.

The people that worked there was the most interesting part of the job. Most of the people that worked there did not want to be face to face with the public for whatever reason. You had the very overweight man with thick glasses who was the funniest and nicest person you would ever meet, the OCD Puerto Rican who always made the most sales and perfected the art of gloating and my favorite friend Manny, who was in a wheel chair but was one of the happiest people I have had the pleasure of knowing. He made working fun, we usually sat next to each other and we would play cards, Scrabble and even Monopoly to pass the time. I remember he used to bring in homemade ceviche, it was so delicious! When I wasn't playing games, I was studying and doing homework.

Granted, I don't want to go back to telemarketing but I did enjoy my time at The Restart Room. I left after my first year of college when I moved back to Los Angeles for a short time before my highly anticipated move to New York City.

social scientist

I recently finished reading a great book by Dan Ariely called The Upside of Irrationality. It explores human behavior and discusses why certain aspects of our behavior can be irrational and then goes on to say that irrationality is not always a bad thing. There are, of course, some irrationalities that are not so great but what is interesting is how our behavior can actually be much different than what we predict it might be.

He relays his conclusions by describing a variety of social experiments that he conducts and the various conclusions he has made about the unexpected benefits of defying logic. It's a very interesting read and I recommend that you pick up a copy at your local library. Side note on the library remark: I am in saving mode for my upcoming wedding so one of my self imposed rules is that I can not purchase books to read, I must borrow them from the library so I am also encouraging others to do the same.

After reading this book, I immediately wanted to become a social scientist. I want to design interesting experiments to test theories regarding human behavior. I want to carry out the experiments, analyze the data and present my conclusions to whoever will listen, and subsequently acknowledge my efforts. I want to debate hypotheses with other academics and discuss my findings with others.

The best part of this book were the experiments, which were likely the strongest factor in my latest desire to be a social scientist. They are incredibly compelling and their results force you to reconsider they way you are living your life and interacting with other people. I could get behind something like this.

If I am serious about this, I would need to go back to school and get a Masters degree and possibly even a PhD if I really want to succeed or make some real money. That would be quite an investment in time and money. I never thought I would go back to school but there is no reason I can't...