losing control

OK, it has been a long time since I posted. I've been busy, but I am back now.

A couple weeks ago, I listened to Joe Caruso discuss the principles in his book The Power of Losing Control. It was at a work thing and was obviously a motivational speech designed to increase the confidence of the sales force to ultimately make more money for the company; but, I really enjoyed listening to Joe and I got a lot out of it, perhaps more personally than professionally.

The main idea is that you can't worry about things that are beyond your control. If you do you are essentially wasting your life. And, who wants to waste their life?

Well, I worry about things all the time and am now really trying to make a concerted effort not to worry about things and be more accepting of how life unfolds.

He says to only focus on things that are within your power to control or influence. And, he says you should only expend the minimum amount of effort to get your desired result.

I often go overboard, for no reason at all. Why expend all that effort for the same result? I think it just means to be mindful of what you really need to do to obtain a specific result.

He says you should keep 4 rules of engagement in mind when interacting with other people:
1 Everyone is right
2 Everyone has a desire to be right
3 You can't change people's minds
4 You can shift someone's perspective

You can avoid arguments and conflict if you just try to be mindful of what the other person in the situation could be thinking. As human beings, we are very self-centered but it is powerful to understand how another person views the world. You will realize in their own way, they are always right.

These were my most significant takeaways from the whole experience:

• Life is about making sincere human connections that provide meaning
• You need to stop caring about whether people like you because it is not important if people like you
• Observe. Ask questions. Then talk about yourself.
• Understand what people are telling you with their body language, tone, inflection and not just their words
  
• Increase your appreciation for life and you will be happier