clarity

One of the most beautiful human experiences is undeniable clarity of purpose. It's incredibly moving when you see someone recognize their dream and fully immersed in pursuit of their purpose.

I do not have this clarity yet. Uncovering my purpose and feeling this clarity is the mission of my current journey.

Although I am consciously working towards this discovery, I am skeptical that clarity is something I can find. Rather, I think it is something that I will stumble upon when I least expect it, similar to how one truly falls in love, perhaps.  Being a planner by nature, it is difficult for me not to try to orchestrate my own revelation. 

feeding the hungry

I think I want to help solve the problem of world hunger. So I am looking into opportunities to get involved with City Harvest.

It seems silly that people would go hungry in a country with so much food.

nature

An earthquake and hurricane in NYC in the same week. I wonder what the city did to piss off Mother Nature. We survived the quake with minimal disruption but Hurricane Irene appears to be bringing more inconvenience and destruction.

We live in lower Manhattan in Zone A which has been given a mandatory evacuation order. Although we are nervous we have decided to stay home and wait out the storm. Our neighbors are also hunkering down so we'll be able to stick together if things get particularly bad.

We have plenty of food, water, candles, batteries, flashlights and are ready to deal with a power outage. We have taped up our windows and are filling up our tub for flushing the toilet. We checked in with our family and friends and are watching the latest developments on the news. Our Go Bag is packed and ready.

This morning I took my doggie for one last walk to Battery Park - the area that they think will surely flood as soon as we begin to feel the beginning of the storm. It was empty, the only people I saw were news casters and tourists who obviously still didn't understand what was coming. I experienced a strange sense of peace while walking along the water - perhaps this is what they refer to as the calm before the storm?

NYC is experiencing an unprecedented preparedness for Irene. Subways, buses, and trains are about to be shut down citywide. Mayor Bloomberg ordered the first ever city evacuation for a hurricane. Evacuations for hospitals in the low lying areas were completed yesterday.

I am about to bake some chocolate chip cookies so we have some freshly baked goodies to provide some comfort during the storm.

I know we will survive this but I expect to feel the normal range of emotions that one experiences during natural disasters. Throughout the last day or so, I can't help remembering the Northridge Earthquake of 1994 in Southern California that I lived through when I was almost 10 years old.

To everyone on the eastern coastline, be safe and stay indoors and we'll all come out OK on the other side of this.

moderation

We have all heard of the phrase, "Everything in moderation" at some point in our lives. I think Socrates said it first, but maybe not, and many others have repeated this phrase since him.

This rule to live by applies to eating, drinking, working, playing, things we love to do and things we hate to do.

This concept is difficult for me to embrace. I am not a moderate person. I am am excessive person. If i enjoy listening to a song, I will listen to it over and over and over again until I can't listen to it anymore. If I love eating something (OK I confess, my weaknesses are cookies and pop-ems) I will eat it until I feel sick. If I had fun doing something, I will keep doing it until it is no fun anymore. Does this mean I have an addictive personality? Am I a slave to my sweet tooth? Why isn't some of something not enough for me?

There are some things for which avoidance is easier than moderation. When it comes to some things, I have will power and self-control and when it comes to other things, its like I am a child with no sense of restraint. When you get right down to it though, who wants to live moderately? Doesn't that sound boring?

My attempts at moderation are usually fueled by a drive to be purposeful. Enjoy every moment of life and if you are truly enjoying each second, you can feel satisfied with only a moderate amount of whatever it is. Whereas, if you are not fully engaged in your present activity, you will feel the need for more until you are satisfied.

I am constantly derailed from this purposeful execution of moderation by my busy life. It is hard to stay engaged in every moment when you are forced (or feel like you are being forced) to get things done and move onto the next thing. And, moderation contradicts one of my other principles of living: Carpe Diem - Seize the Day!

Will someone tell me how can one seize the day in moderation?

losing control

OK, it has been a long time since I posted. I've been busy, but I am back now.

A couple weeks ago, I listened to Joe Caruso discuss the principles in his book The Power of Losing Control. It was at a work thing and was obviously a motivational speech designed to increase the confidence of the sales force to ultimately make more money for the company; but, I really enjoyed listening to Joe and I got a lot out of it, perhaps more personally than professionally.

The main idea is that you can't worry about things that are beyond your control. If you do you are essentially wasting your life. And, who wants to waste their life?

Well, I worry about things all the time and am now really trying to make a concerted effort not to worry about things and be more accepting of how life unfolds.

He says to only focus on things that are within your power to control or influence. And, he says you should only expend the minimum amount of effort to get your desired result.

I often go overboard, for no reason at all. Why expend all that effort for the same result? I think it just means to be mindful of what you really need to do to obtain a specific result.

He says you should keep 4 rules of engagement in mind when interacting with other people:
1 Everyone is right
2 Everyone has a desire to be right
3 You can't change people's minds
4 You can shift someone's perspective

You can avoid arguments and conflict if you just try to be mindful of what the other person in the situation could be thinking. As human beings, we are very self-centered but it is powerful to understand how another person views the world. You will realize in their own way, they are always right.

These were my most significant takeaways from the whole experience:

• Life is about making sincere human connections that provide meaning
• You need to stop caring about whether people like you because it is not important if people like you
• Observe. Ask questions. Then talk about yourself.
• Understand what people are telling you with their body language, tone, inflection and not just their words
  
• Increase your appreciation for life and you will be happier

dueto

The very first job I applied for when I moved to NYC was for a receptionist position at a fancy hair salon on the Upper East Side of Manhattan called, Dueto. I thought the interview went pretty well and was following up every few days to see if they had made an offer for the job. After about 3 or 4 follow up calls, I gave up and assumed that they hired someone else. I then got the gig at Crema Lita and worked there for about a month.

Then, one day, I received a phone call from the salon asking me to come in for a second interview. I jumped at the chance as this position was paying more than what I was making serving soft serve. I went back for the second interview and the owner of the salon got right down to business. He asked if he could be honest with me (which I assured was my preference over the alternative) and told me that he hired someone else but it didn't work out. He said he knew I was smart enough for the job but didn't hire me because of the way that I looked.

Now, before you start judging him - allow me to provide you with a mental picture of young Megan in NYC. At 19, I never really wore make up, had just started understanding the need for plucking eyebrows, had super long frizzy hair which I had self-dyed with blond highlights and did not apply any sort of style to and admittedly, was not a very good dresser.

He said I have a proposition for you. He said: If you let my team and I do something with your hair, show you how to apply a bit of make up and take you shopping, I would like to offer you the position. I immediately agreed and said they could do whatever they wanted to me.

I provided Crema Lita with 2 weeks notice and then spent every free moment I had during those next two weeks at the salon. They cut off half my hair, removed the blond highlights, added some auburn streaks and began to teach me how I could blow dry my hair to make it look stylish. They sent me out with a stylist to go shopping in the Village and we only purchased black and white fashionable clothing.

I remember my first day of work, I woke up extra early and tried to do my own hair, apply make up and pick out a nice outfit. I got to work and they looked me over and told me to go wash my face and put my hair in the sink. They were going to re-do everything but, at least my outfit looked nice. From there, they told me to just come into work an hour early and I would get my hair and make up done by one of the stylists. So for the next year and half, I did not wash my own hair and was fortunate enough to enjoy free hair cuts/color and styling.

Although this story sounds like a chapter out of "Devil Wears Prada", I really loved working here and I feel as if I was meant to work here as it was an important step in my adaptation to living in NYC. I quickly became friendly with everyone that worked there and they adopted me into their family. The owner, Julio, in particular, was so nice to me and I was so blessed to have met him and worked for him when I did.

I worked here until one day, a client at the salon offered me my next job. Stay tuned for the next Previous Jobs post.

executive producer

I am going to be an executive producer, yea I said executive.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics:
Producers are entrepreneurs who make the business and financial decisions involving a motion picture, television show, or stage production. They select scripts, approve the development of ideas, arrange financing, and determine the size and cost of the endeavor. Producers hire or approve directors, principal cast members, and key production staff members.

Top 10 Ways my life has prepared me to become a Producer!

1. I spent my childhood writing scripts & filming short movies about killers. My brother, next door neighbors and friends were my cast ad crew. My credits include: The Vengeance Trilogy, Suspension and some more artsy compilations of random stock film I was collecting.
   
2. I spent the second semester of 9th grade at a Performing Arts Magnet School where I was in the Children's Theater program which involved performing short plays in front of elementary school children at neighboring schools. Interestingly, I was always cast as the evil witch or queen.
3. At that same school, I was also was the stage manager for the improv comedy group. That was one of the funniest times of my life but it did get old cleaning up after them, pies, slime and all.
4. I wrote a feature length script (90 minutes) called She Kills Without Emotion. It was about a woman assassin named Chloe.
5. I moved from California to New York City at 19 because I longed to live in the big city. It was the best decision I ever made in my life. I still go back to Los Angeles a couple times a year to see my family.
   
6. I received a Bachelor of Business Administration from Adelphi University.
7. I coordinated an office relocation in New York City. This involved: working 2 different realtors to find an affordable space, selling old furniture we didn't need, packing up the office, coordinating and executing day of moving logistics, arranging for phone and internet connectivity and setting up the new office and much more. If that isn't a production, I don't know what one is. Oh, and I had a tiny budget for the move.
8. I do my own taxes.
   
9. My brother is a filmmaker. Its in our blood.
10. I am a habitual to-do list writer and completer.