marriage, taxes and death

Dear 2012, 

It's not even March yet and it you have taken me on quite a ride.  I guess I should start at the beginning...

January 1 was my wedding day and it was everything that I wanted it to be.  I closed the Megan White chapter of my life and started a new one, Megan Bowen.  So far so great...

On January 2 my new husband, Jay, and I flew to the majestic island of Kauai Hawaii for a 16 night honeymoon We stayed on the south shore at Poipu beach and experienced just about everything you can on the island form snorkeling, fishing, zip lining, hiking, kayaking to going on boat trips, helicopter rides and amazingly beautiful beaches and ocean.  A trip of a lifetime that I will never forget.

On January 19 I was able to visit with my family in CA on the way home to NYC.  I saw my grandpa Byrl, who had been sick for some time but was still hanging in there.

On January 20 I returned to NYC and remembered why I love the city so much.  There is something breathtaking about a skyline of incredible buildings rising above the water that surrounds them.  In a weird way it reminds of of the Na Pali Coast in Kauai with the sheer cliffs rising from the crashing waves on one side of the island.

I was back at work on January 23 and it was a fairly smooth transition back into reality.  That's all on this topic for now.


On January 26, I find out my grandpa Byrl passed away.  He taught me how to play chess, helped me with algebra homework and introduced me to philosophy among many other things.  He always told me to "Treasure my Youth" and "Accept no guilt, assign no blame."  


I completed my taxes on February 4 and Jay's as well and we already got our refunds as I write this.


I turned 28 on February 13 and had the acute realization that life goes on no matter what is happening to individual people and its' up to each person to decide how they go about living.   


Another beloved relative, Rick Adessi passed on February 18 and we attended the funeral services on February 24.  A beautiful Catholic mass, followed by the burial at the ceremony and a reception at a lovely banquet hall.


I grieved for Rick but also for my grandpa Byrl.  I enjoyed the religious readings and prayers. I was moved by the singing and organ playing and readings from the close family members.  Death is complicated yet so simple.  It evokes every emotion intensely.  It leaves me at a loss for words and forces me to re evaluate the way I live my life and revisit my blogging.

Until next post....

the flower, step 6

What goals or purposes would you most enjoy setting our energies to?  This is it, people!  This is the question I have been asking myself for some time and writing blog posts to help me figure it out.  I loved this exercise the most out of everything I have done so far in the Parachute book.  Although I wish this exercise gave me an exact answer on what I should do, it did bring me much closer to realizing what is important to me and where I should be focusing my energy.

The author lists 9 broad outcomes and encourages you to identify which ones resonate with you most - here are the 9 outcomes with abbreviated descriptions:

1. Mind - contributing to knowledge, truth or clarity in this world
2. Body - fitness, health, feeding the hungry, clothing the poor
3. Eyes and Other Senses - beauty, art, flowers, painting, photography, artistic pursuits
4. Heart - love and compassion
5. The Will or Conscience - justice, righteousness, honesty
6. Human Spirit - faith, compassion, forgiveness, family
7. Entertainment - laughter, joy, forced introspection
8. Possessions - simplicity, savings, frugality
9. The Earth - conservation, respect, exploration not exploitation of our wonderful plant

I finally used one of his prioritizing grids to figure this out.  I must say, I am a fan.  A prioritizing grid allows you to systematically choose between two things at a time to whittle down a list of choices.  I found a free online prioritizing grid so you can check it out.

After prioritizing in a grid-like fashion, my top 3 outcomes are:
1. Body
2. Mind
3. Heart

I want to work for a place like City Harvest or FoodBank of NYC.  I want to serve a real need and not a manufactured one.  I want to help feed the hungry, clothe the poor, help others realize the importance of physical health and well being.  I want to focus on things that matter and use my skills to promote basic human needs and truths. 

I don't want to be a slave to those who buy my company's product.  I don't want to force people to think they need what my company peddles.  I don't want to engage in confrontation about things that don't really matter in life.  I don't want to do something that I no longer believe in...

the flower, step 4 & 5

Steps 4 & 5 feel a bit like housekeeping.  Things they have to ask but which are fairly obvious so you can zip through them pretty quickly.  I'll keep this short and sweet.


Step 4. What Level (of Responsibility) do you most enjoy working at, and at what Salary?

• Level: Head of a team and eventually the boss or CEO
• OTHER OPTIONS for those who are curious
• Manager or someone under the boss who carries out the orders
• A member of a team of equals
• One who works in tandem with one other partner
• One who works alone, either as an employee or a consultant or as a one-person business
• Salary: Without getting too personal, 5-6 figures. I wrote some specific numbers in my book but didn't think it wise to share specifics online.
  

My favorite part of step 4 is listing out the 'Other Rewards' from your job besides money - here were mine:

• Challenge
• Intellectual Stimulation
• Helping Others
• Exercising Leadership
• Lots of paid time off! :-)

Step 5. What Geographic Factors are most important to you and in what places to you think you would do your best work?  Basically, where do you want to live?

This one is easy. I have to be on a coast - east or west. New York City and/or California

The next two steps are pretty intense so I'm keeping this post intentionally light - get ready for some exciting insights!

the flower, step 3

The next flower petal is all about working conditions or your work environment.  The exercise focuses on answering: What working conditions do you like best, because they enable you to do your most effective work?

The author suggests that you start with listing out distasteful working conditions.  From there, you can translate those into your ideal working conditions.

Here is my list of distasteful working conditions in order of priority, starting with the most distasteful:

• Angry clients angry about things beyond my control
• Not believing in the mission of the organization
• Having no defined goals in my role/work
• An environment with a lack of/or poor communication
• A rigid, inflexible work schedule
• No opportunity for growth
• Ineffective colleagues
• Poor management/leadership
• No accountability framework
• No mechanism for regular feedback on job performance

I was able to translate these into a list of ideal working conditions:

• Strong belief in organization's mission
• Set of defined goals to work towards
• Open and transparent communication within organization
• Flexible schedule
• Opportunity for growth
• Effective colleagues
• Strong leadership/management
• Employees are held accountable for their work
• Regular feedback loop on performance and career growth possiblities

I have added the first five to my third flower petal as my ideal working conditions. I now know I need to look for work in organizations that would foster these types of working conditions.  Although, I can certainly ask about this during the interview process, how do you really know you are walking into an organization with these types of conditions?  I also wonder how much of an impact an individual employee can have on creating these types of conditions if they don't already exist?

the flower, step 2

As I began reading about step 2, it only took a minute for me to recognize a career assessment that I had previously taken, more specifically the very first one I took and wrote about when I first started this blog.  I am talking about the Career Interest Game and the Holland Code.

By the way, the purpose of step 2 is to answer the question: What are your preferred people-environments that you most like to work with, or serve and help?

According to Dr. John Holland, everyone has 3 preferred people-environments out of 6 principle ones: Realistic, Investigative, Artistic, Social, Enterprising, Conventional


The purpose of all this is to emphasize the importance of not only what you will do on the job but the types of people you will be around all the time.  I'm glad this is in here because it does matter who you work with - it can make your day fun or torture.

My Holland Code was: EIS (Enterprising, Investigative, Social)

Accordingly to the Career Interest Game, I should be a: Human Resources, Training, and Labor Relations Managers and Specialists.

Although you don't take this same interest assessment in the book, the author created an abbreviated version of it and calls it 'The Party Game'.  Basically it has each of the 6 people-environments in their own corner and it asks you to identify which one you would gravitate towards first at a party.  Then, if everyone from that group left, which group would you go to next and then one last time so you end up with 3 preferred people-environments.  I went ahead and played 'The Party Game' and came up with the reverse of my Holland Code that I received playing the Career Interests Game: SIE

Same environments, different order, interesting...

The book encourages you to write a temporary statement of your future job or career using your Holland code as your guide.

I am looking for a job or career where I can be around people who perform, positively influence others, like to investigate and problem solve but most importantly, help and inspire others to live and be well.

the flower, step 1

One of the most important outcomes of What Color is Your Parachute? is the completion of The Flower exercise.  It encourages you to make a long list of everything you can think of about yourself.

From there, it takes you through a 7 step process to identify the most important factors in determining your life's purpose.

The first step is an inventory of knowledge, what topics have you learned about through the natural course of your life including high school, college, jobs and your time off...the result of this exercise is meant to be a guiding principle to which you can live your life.  Hoping for a taste of enlightenment.

Here we go -  "What knowledge, that you already have in your head, do you most want to use in your life?"

THE SUBJECTS CHART

Column 1, What I learned in High School & College?

• Speech and Debate
• Swimming
• Acting/improv
• Typing
• MS Office
• Writing Business Plans
• Basic Accounting
• Teamwork
• Adapting to new places
• Jugging
• Creative Writing

Column 2, What I learned on the job?

• Selling
• Office administration
• Personal assistant
• Cold calling/telemarketing
• Customer Service
• Presenting
• Training
• Project Management
• Event Planning
• Problem Solving
• Budgeting
• Negotiation

Column 3, What I learned from conferences, workshops, seminars?

• The power of losing control
• Education technology
• Holden sales methodology
• Cooking
• Speech & Debate

Column 4, What I learned at home?

• Friendship
• Love
• Health/Wellness
• Cleaning
• Cooking
• Entertaining
• Philosophy
• Mystery Novels
• Dog walking/training
• Sewing

Column 5, What I have learned in my leisure time?

• Cooking
• Exercising
• Writing
• Reading
• Socializing

 In case you were wondering, I am still looking for the exercise that will tell my the color of my parachute but this one was in the way.

Anyway, the next step is to pick your favorite 3 subjects listed above - this step is a bit more involved but I am giving you the abbreviated version that yields the same result.

So here are my top 3:
3. Cooking
2. Problem Solving
1. Health/Wellness

Drum roll please...my flower's first petal (Special Knowledges) is now complete.  The book tells you to write these in the first petal of the flower, which  I will be doing as soon as I publish this post.  Time to go cook dinner.

Stay tuned for Step 2....People Environments

Who Am I?

This is my first post about my quest to find out the Color of my Parachute!  I am currently reading the 40th Anniversary Edition of What Color is Your Parachute? A practical Manual for Job Hunters and Career Changers.   I find myself jumping around the book and working through the various exercises they prescribe in order to answer the all important question of identifying one's purpose in life.

The first exercise focused on answering the question: Who Am I?  Sounds simple, but it's not.  

Following the book's instruction, here is what I did:

Step 1. Write "Who Am I?" at the to of 10 pieces of paper.

Step 2. Write one answer to that question on each sheet.

Step 3.  After you complete the 10 answers, go back and expand upon each answer by identifying why you wrote that and what turns you on about that.

Step 4. Then, arrange your 10 sheets in order of priority, most important first.

Step 5. Review the 10 sheets and see if you can identify any common themes among the answers.

Here are the results of my exercise including the answers to: Who Am I, Why I Wrote That, What Turns Me On About That.

1. Health-Conscious, I only feel great when I exercise regularly, eat right and take care of myself, I want others to be healthy and I want to help them realize that taking care of oneself should be a priority.

2. Philosopher, I am very analytical about my journey through life (for example, see this blog) and am curious to understand how I can better the world around me, I enjoy being self aware and making a conscious effort to live well.

3. Communicator, I can talk to and relate to just about anyone, I love being able to know how to deal with the human in front of me and am always seeking new ways to share, listen learn and persuade.

4. Kind, I always try to remind myself that we are all human and we should each strive to be good to each other and although it isn't always true, I find that good things usually do end up happening to good people.

5. Peacemaker, I don't like unnecessary confrontation and my ability to communicate and mediate can bring peace to chaos and anger.  I believe that some confrontation is important for change but it must be done in a constructive way.

6. Gregarious, I am a people person and enjoy being outgoing and meeting new people.  Each new person you meet is an opportunity to learn something new.  I feel most satisfied when I can do something to positively impact another persons life.

7. Caretaker, I like feeling needed and taking care of others make me feel good about myself.  Life is about give and take and it is just as important to care for others as it is to care for yourself.

8. Ambitious, I am always working towards my next challenge in life and because of this approach, my life will forever be evolving into new chapters and exciting adventures.

9. Planner, I always feel compelled to plan or make a "To-do" list, crossing items of a list is one of my most personally satisfying experiences.

10. Woman, I am a woman who is sensitive, inquisitive, emotional, loving, forceful and I enjoy every blessing and every curse that comes with being a woman.

So, Who Am I? Am I destined to live my life to the best of my ability and help others to do the same?